Healthy Ways To Deal With A Break Up Or Divorce – Part 2

Value yourself. Nothing can blow your self-esteem to smithereens like a breakup or divorce. But you are valuable and you are worthy. If your ex continues to come in and out of your life during the separation, set some boundaries and stick to them. Imagine that your ex is like a drug. It may feel euphoric to interact with them for that moment but what will the “hangover” feel like? How will you feel the next day when they ignore your calls or the next few days when you don’t hear back? Even under the best terms, where you initiated the separation, ask yourself what you truly get from those interactions. Do you feel good knowing that person is hurting? Are they trying to make you feel guilty? Are they threatening you? Set those boundaries and stick to them and if ANYBODY threatens you, file a restraining order.

Relax on rushing into something new. Remember how I told you to imagine your ex as a drug? When you get into a “rebound” relationship, you’re essentially substituting one drug for another. That is because you are using the person to fill a void. Sure, you may have genuine feelings but how do you know if you haven’t taken the time to understand yourself and your motivations? Take a break from dating during this period. Allow yourself to really get over it before starting something new; otherwise you may find yourself in a similar relationship trap as before. This rebound can feel good in the short term, but if you don’t process your pain appropriately, you won’t be able to truly commit to someone new

Think BIG! Your self-worth doesn’t just come from those who love you. The meaning of life isn’t just wrapped up in our relationships. It comes from achieving and giving back. Think about volunteering. This can kill two birds with one stone: Build self-esteem and build supportive relationships. Get out there and meet new people who can talk to you about new and exciting things and give back. Doing for others does wonders for the self

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